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22 avril A life in the day of .... meA certain housemate who insists that a random bottle of Tesco Value Gin found under the stairs belongs to me, told me to write a story to fill the gaps in my day between eating, sleeping and talking. This housemate, often referred to as "the very loud man downstairs" also told me to take up a musical instrument... or if I was feeling particularly insane to do both at the same time. I haven't written a story since year eight or earlier and so I haven't got the faintest idea where to start. I could start with the old cliche of "Once upon a time in a far away land" but I often think the best stories happen right here so why waste energy. On top of that if this story was set in a far far away land I'd have to describe it to you, its geography, culture, heritedge and to be quite honest I don't have enough imagination for that, so my story is set in a house in Swansea with people you've already met. When we were in year eight, our teacher made us do this excercise called a life in the day of. No you read that right. She said if we started at the beginning, in the morning when we woke up and waffled (although that wasn't her word) until we went to bed we'd describe our activities and maybe something about our own character, our friends and other potentially intereting titbits would appear along the way.
So here goes:
Unlike the days of year eight I don't wake up in the 'mornings' if I can help it. If I'm feeling particularly energetic I'll crawl out of bed at 11am and pretend I saw more of the morning than I actually did. I don't work right now - hence the need to write this - so im enjoying the freedom to get up and go to bed when i like, the nine to five routine will come and I'll hate every early waking minute of it, except I probably won't.
I don't eat breakfast so my morning consists of the following activities. I get out of bed, I turn the PC on, I go to the bathroom, I come back to my room and check facebook. Facebook is evil, it has created a society of addicts who stalk profiles, take meaningless quizzes and play dull games all under the guise of social networking. Half the people classed as "friends" on your profile list aren't really your friends. A large majority of mine I went to school with but don't talk to now, people I met once or supposedly know but wouldn't know if they offered me a drink in Divas. The other half, the half that are your friends, shouldn't need BookFace to stay in contact with you. Facebook can also cause more damage to your social network than it solves, it can be the source of conflicts that if Facebook didn't exist wouldn't have happened, things get posted on walls, sent in messages that if said face to face would be laughed off but written on facebook can cause offense in ever increasingly unpredictable ways. Like I said Facebook is EVIL. By the time I have checked through the 100+ groups I belong to, mostly because the name sounded good, checked messages and wall posts, clicked ignore to the 20 - 30 updates, invites and requests I've recieved in the past 12 hours I realise its an hour or so later and I'm still sat in my PJs. Time to get dressed.
This is where the fact im a girl first rears is head, choosing what to wear! Some days, most days, I have what I refer to as "fat days" days where no matter what I would like to wear my stomach looks bigger than I'd like it to or the button on my fav jeans won't close. On top of that the outfit I had planned to wear today I remeber is sat in the laundry basket on the top of my wardrobe so I have to resort to plan B, which brings us full circle back to problem A. Being a girl is tough... gusy just chuck on the first T-shirt in the drawer and the cleanest pair of Jeans and they're good to go, in fact nobody would notice if a guy wore the same outfit two days in a row but girls.... oooooh big no no.
After this ordeal I have to find something to do, up until a few weeks ago there were never enough hours in the day and doing all the things I do now seemed meaningful and fun. Checking Facebook, watching daytime TV and playing Sims was more appealing because I knew I shouldn't be doing it, I should be doing my dissertation but procrastination is always more appealing than work. I handed my dissertation in on 31st March and so all those things that were classed as distractions aren't distracting any more, they have lost half of their appeal which means I get bored with them much faster than I was last month. I say to myself each morning now, "Im going to find something productive to do today" and so far, not so sucessful. I did manage to have a productive day today though, I gave all of my dissertation books back to the Library, I gave my boss a laugh when I popped in and I bough food from Tescos. Only I got soaked walking back from campus and soaked again walking back from Tescos. I have done a fair amount of walking today! I also managed to completey lose the plot in Tescos today, going past isles i needed and walking backwards and forwards around the shop to find things I'd forgotten and forgetting them anyway. I blame Richard.
Lunch or breakfast is usually my healthiest meal of the day, chicken salad is the lunch of choice. Lisa made fun of me on saturday because I go to the same baguette shop every saturday and order the same sandwhich, but it tastes good and I can't read the menu so leave me be. It is at this point in the day that I realise not only have I not eaten anything I've not drunk anything either. Its no wonder I can't lose weight if all my daily intake of food happens later in the day and im not drinking enough water. I like Nick's attitude though, he keeps saying "ah ah diets are bad for you", "you don't need to diet until you are wider than you are tall" its a form of logic, not one that will wash with most girls but a little self esteem boost is never unwelcome. I get those from Stephen regularly, Its nice to know you can count on at least one person to tell you how good you look even if you've thrown on the only clean top you've got and the only pair of jeans that fits.
My afternnon consists of much the same as the morning. I need something to do!! Anything! Im looking into volunteering with Discovery but having been spoilt by the Friday Night OWL project and BHF I can't seem to find a project I like. The tuesday night club with its highly imaginative title seems my best bet but that would still leave vast gaps in time in which I must find something to fill. I go back to Facebook, knowing that at least two people would have been online between my first visit of the day and now. Two messages in my inbox, one from Liz, one from Therea. I've already had three texts from Theresa and one phonecall so thats at least three distinct conversations happening betwen two people simultaniously. I talk to Theresa a lot, sorry the "other Miss D", she texts me when she wakes up, and I text her before I go to bed and whenver my phone rings I rarely find its anybody besides her, Its a nice surprise when it the caller ID says anything other than "Theresa New".
After a strenous afternoon and probably an unplanned nap - god I sound so lazy - I will venture to the kitchen and cook dinner. This is usually something quick or left overs from what ever dinner I made last night. Thats the great thing about Spag bol, feeds me for days, unless I share it with Richard or Nick. I would like to try to cook new things but I don't have the patience to stick to recipes and I don't like cooking individual portions. Sometimes I'll cook loads of food and feed whomever is in the house at the time. I like doing that, its so much easier to plan and cook for more than one person even with Stephen's dietary requirements and more fun to eat with other people. If nobody else is around i'll eat in front of the TV in my room like a proper student. Our table is unstabled (much like Richard according to Ryan), we have a piece of cupboard siding under one leg so it doesn't wobble too badly. The guy who put it together for us had about as much patiences with instructions as I do with recipes and drilled new holes because he decided the existing ones were in the wrong place!!?
It is at this point that my healthy eating plan for the day goes out the window and I wonder to the shop for chocolate. We have a choice of two shops in the streets surrounding our house, they are affectionately named "the shop of truth" and "the shop of deciet and lies". I blame Richard for this as he's been using these phrases to describe things as long as I've known him, usually moving objects about to run us over - best carer ever. This time though it is based on more than randomness, the shop of deciet and lies has no prices printed on its products and the staff make them up at the till, I suspect that students get charged double out of spite, supernoodles from 85p to £8.50. It was in this shop that I first noticed that space raiders are now 15p and I was not impressed. I found a Facebook group of like minded people demanding the price of the pickled onion alien snacks be returned to 10p, so far without sucess. The shop of Truth on the other hand sells better stuff and the people are nicer, except lately they've taken to calling me trouble. I'd protest at this title but I've been on Richard's bad influence list for months and I often break shop tills with the "card of destruction" or whatever its called. I am happy to report though that our fav shop assistant welcome richard and I as "troublemakers" today so the chaos and blame is spreading - ha!
There is too much TV choice in the evenings. having just done a 20000 word essay on the perils of TV and TV advertising I shouldn't be suprised Im drawn to the "idiot's latern" in the evening to become a statistic along with millions of other individuals. I smile at the adverts, which im supposed to ignore but find entertaining and flick between the channels on the hour to find the next American drama series that I've probably seen at least twice before. My favourites at the moment are House MD, CSI Miami and on the weekends there is space for some British influences with Dr Who and I'll Do Anything. I watch the later mostly so I can to my mum, "I wanted that one to go instead of her" or "I am glad she went she wasn't very good".
I'll check Facebook again before I go to bed because all the sane people have been online in the evening and I'll respond to the wall posts and messages from Liz and Theresa and protest at the comment left by Richard or Liz on the opposite's wall (not that I would read other people's walls) and then crawl into bed, assuring myself i'll have a more productive day tomorrow.
So thats my day... damit I need a job....
14 avril Blog posts: interpretations and consequences.so im trying this new thing, being entirely honest with my friends about my feelings and opinions, so far, not working out so great. If you can't be honest with you friends then who can you be honest with?
It makes me wonder why people want you to be honest with people when the only thing it achieves if causing aggrevation and bad feeling between the people it is supposed to prevent bad feeling between. A lot has happened in the last month and I am confused by it all and in expressing my confusion i seem to have offended the one person i never intended on offending. Sorry Sam.
I wrote the message on my blogsite and i forgot that it got posted to facebook, nobody really reads my blog so I didn't expect it to be made so public, not that I am ashamed of what I said or was trying to hide my comments from anybody mentioned in the message below. I needed to air out my feelings, mostly so they made sense to me, so that i had the situation clear in my own head so that when Sam and i came to talk face to face there wasn't any confusion on my side and I knew what i wanted to say. Facebook messes everything up. Facebook is evil.
I do not understand why expressing my opinion on the situation has made me the bitch? I am entitled to it, im entitled to express it as well. I set out to make anybody sound like a bitch. I may have commented on the language in the message and that may not have been appropriate but that is the only aspect of my last post i am prepared to apologise for. If Helen wants to threaten me and insult my friends why should I not tell them? I have not, apart from the stab at her spelling, insulted Helen and I am not about to either, it would serve little purpose. I didn't blame anybody for anything, I didn't say anything that wasn't true in relation to the ins and outs of the holiday planning and any opinion that i gave was coupled with a comment such as, this may not be what was intended or I may be wrong.
I could sit here and analyse my own message, point out quotes of particular interest that back up my point that nothing in the message is directly insulting but what is the point? I said what i said, im not ashamed of what i said and i stand by it. If it is miscontrued as insulting then that is a reflection on the reader and not the author. If it is necessary I will go through it line by line with anybody who asks and reitorate what I have said in more userfriendly language. I set out to give an account of the comings and goings of the holiday planning, the changes, the confusions and if I happened to analyse them a little then why is that a bad thing since all blogs are subjective and editorial by nature. A few people have read the message now, two have said im a bitch for writing it, one has pointed out possible causes for negative interpretations, two have said I didn't say anything that I had no right to say. Im still open for critiques and comments.
As i said in my last message, Sam has me as a friend whether she likes it or not. If she is willing to accept that I was not intending to offend her and that Helen and I are not going to get on then we can move forward. Ball is in her court.
12 février According to psychologyOn my emails today was a pyschology experiment, the questionnaire (which took ages) wanted to test my personality in relation to that of others. Here are the results and what I think of them! Openness to experience: this trait reflects your interest in abstract and philosophical matters. The average score is 119. You scored 96, which is very low. Well this didn't suprise me, I get a headache every time Nick and people start debating history, linguistics and other intellectual disucssions. I would much rather discuss things that actually exist, for example whether Im going to burn the chicken and the egg rather then which came first. Conscientiousness: this trait reflects the extent to which you pay attention to details. The average score is 157. If you score less than 140 you are significantly below average on this trait, if you score more than 175 you are significantly above average on this trait. You scored 145, which is low. So I guess I don't really care much about the details in life then, I wonder if that includes what time I get out of bed as apposed to the general fact that I did get out of bed this morning, I guess Im a more general person then the rest of the Swansea Uni Population. Extraversion: this trait reflects the extent to which you are sociable and outgoing. You scored 106, which is average. So im average? I don't think so. I may not be the most sociable person, but then I do spend a lot of time talking. The questionnaire asked questions about how verbal i perceive myself as beinig, how talkative my friends percieve me as etc. They also asked questions like did i strike up conversations with strangers and did i like to be the centre of attention at parties, well no, my mummy taught me not to talk to strangers and well the life and soul of the party is usually the one who has consumed the most alcohol which isn't usually me. Agreeableness: this trait reflects the extent to which you are tolerant, easygoing and cooperative with others. You scored 163, which is high. Well thats nice to know isn't it, that Im tolerant of other people - you here that Alun! ha. Now I have proof that I don't snap every time somebody annoys me and that I am an easy going person, or well at least more easy going then the average joe smuck. Cooperative, does that mean I have to work with them?? really? No I in team? I heard a saying somewhere though that sums me up quite nicely, there is no I in team but there is a ME in there somewhere! Great isn't it! Neuroticism: this trait reflects your tendency to experience negative emotions such as anxiety, fear and depression. You scored 225, which is very high. wow, i thought I was such a happy person, I need chocolate now, (happy hormones, happy hormones). Seriously, according to this thing I should be snapping at people all the time, jumpy and a recluse, my score is 98 points above average. Ok so im an easy going person but very fearful and nevous, does that work? I don't think I get depressed very often, I don't spend all day in bed avoiding the world and I always thought I was more cheerful then that. According to this psychology rubbish I should be on Prozac! Ok well now you've got an insight into my personality, I'll go get on with some work. 11 février The exams are over, it all begins againAccording to Blogthings.com (that site that keeps expanding on the number of stupidly addictive self test quizzes) I am a highly sarcasti person. No really?
I have now finished the first semester exams for the MSc Marketing course!! Yay. I don't get nervous in the traditional sense of the word. I get stressed. Usually because Ive left all the work until the last minute and instead of recovering what I've learnt previously im having to learn it the night before the exam. Its decidedly not the best approach to the revision process. There has been an email sent around the department stating that the board is meeting on 20th February to discuss our results and then they will be released to us after this date. I think I have done OK... I worry about Toni's modules and Quants but the other three I think are OK...
Everybody is complaining about Quants, so much so that 10 individual official complaints have been made about Liz Stone and her teaching methods and now a formal and group complaint is being composed by our course reps and is being sent to the head of Faculty. The module was really unfair and everybody believes they have done badly. The complaints thing will only work if enough people have done padly in the exam. For a math teaher though she isn't that great at basic arithmatic, adding up our courswwork assignments she came to 35% the course outline stated 40% - a flaw I think. I would have done OK in the exam, had I been able to remember the stupid formula. The formulae sheet we were given for use in the exam was utterly useless, none of the questions required the use of the formula sheet which means that the formula sheet was a real waste of paper. The formulae that we were likely to be using should have been on it, otherwise whats the point of producing it just to confuse us and lead us down a path that would eventually lead to us failing the module. 3 of the 4 formulae on the sheet came from one chapter so the obvious but fatal conclusion, that chapter is going to be on the exam.
On a lighter note, FAFfers isn't going to be a society, not officially anyway. The paperwork should have been processed by the Sabbs back in November but it got lost between me handing it to Chugga and reaching Owen Morris. There isn't enough weeks in the year to make it work the effort now, by the time its all processed, members gathered and committee trained there won't be any time left. I am however likely to be running for a Sabb posision!! Yeah me, really. IF, and it is a big IF I am allowed to suspend my dissertation for a year I will run for Welfare officer. Alun said i should have run last year but I wasn't convinced. I think the process would be quite fun and with a team of MSc Marketing students on my side it shouldn't be too difficult to drum up some publicity. The issues that I would put forward would include the dodgy crossing that Ive been meaning to draw attention to for the past three years, along with some accomodation issues and some more general issues, Alun has come up with a list. Im not convinced I could deal with all the meetings though, I get bored in lectures!!! I am going to speak to Ian Thomas Tomorrow and see if suspending is an option. I'll keep you updated.
Oh and lastly, I gave in, I joined Facebook. Yes I know, I hate facebook, but it has meant that I can make contact with people I haven't spoken to since HRSFC. If i do manage to make contact that would really be nice. Find out how uni went, where they're lives have taken them and how Susannah Street got on at Oxford.
Im going to bed now, night all 23 septembre Its all changing...As the weeks of summer drag on, they've been doing that for a while now, and life slowly starts to regain some kind of normality if not a lot of it, Im left to wonder why im so bored.
This is probably the last "summer" I'll get to enjoy, This time next year I'll hopefully have a job and be repaying my overdraft and trying to bring my savings balance up to the respectable figure it was before University began. So why is it that all I can think about is starting University again. I have nothing to do, I've been job hunting all summer, although weakily if I admit it to myself but apart from the occassional browse through jobshop and an even quicker browse through the evening post my days have been filled with mind numbing amounts of nothingness.
Its nice to have Donna back in the house. I missed living with her and it wasn't until this week that I realised that. She's a good friend and I like spending time with her, even if it is cooking dinners or messing up dinners as the case may be. I am sort of looking forward to having a full house although in fairness I'd prefer it if the house was filled with "the girls" and not two boys that I barely know. Muazam arrived on Thursday and although he seems a nice enough person and I'm sure we'll get along just fine he isn't one of the people that I would call friends, not yet anyway. Yesterday was a nightmare. Dean our ever so wonderful landlord arrived at 9am without so much as a text message as warning so I stroll to the bathroom in my winnie the pooh nightie with unshaven legs and bump into him "Good morning Dean"!! Anyway that wasn't the whole of the nightmare, Ian spent the day (9am - 3pm) building, yes building a wardrobe and a bed frame for Muazam's attic room. He tried to get a normal bedframe up there but failed miserably twice. I offered to swap my wardrobe with him as the photos I have from January show that this wardrobe did once belong upstairs. In all fairness it looks good, I mean a lot of effort went into building it. I persoanally wouldn't want a fixed wardrobe in my room. The amount of times i've rearranged the furniture in this room I'd feel very restricted if I couldn't move it all. Its Dean's choice after all though.
Nick moves in tomorrow, I hope everybody gets along, Donna and Muazam only met on thursday about 10 minutes before she left for the weekend and Nick and Muazam im not sure have ever met. Donna and Nick have met once or twice at
106 I think but they're going to need to get to know eachother too. I've tried not to say too much to either of them as I don't want my opinionis of people to influence theirs, im not sure how sucessful I have been in that endevour but we'll have to wait and see. Im glad not everybody is moving in on the same day as I had half expected to happen. It gives people chance to settle in before another housemate turns up. Nick is a little different I know in the sense that he's already lived here for a one month but he's had two months back home so he'll have to settle back in I suppose.
Things with Ryan are erm progressing. I won't say anything at the moment except that we (all three of us) are meeting for lunch in Cricketers on Sunday. Here's hoping it goes well.
25 mai A whole lots changed since i've seen you last...Well almost an entire month has gone past but what a crazy month that was. I went home for easter, did I tell you that already? Ok well I'll start from the beginning of term then. My dissertation deadline was as far as I knew 12th May. On the 5th of May somebody told me they'd handed theirs in about a minute before the deadline. As you can imagine i paniced and went to see Nicole who admitted she'd made a mistake and that yes in fact the deadline was today. She told me not to worry about it and that she would sort it out becuase it was her fault and not mine but to get it in as soon as possible. It would hurt my grade as I had it in late to complain about it, but getting it in sooner also saved face for her. Saving face is something this particular woman is very good at. She sorted it out alright. She negotiated extra time because of my disability. I was livid. I didn't need extra time, I didn't use extra time and I didn't want the department thinking that either, but you can you do about it. This revelation came during the campaign week for Exec (more on that later) and I told her that I can't be campaigning for disability equality and then doing things like this but she seemed to ignore what I was saying and carry on anyway. Im glad my dissertation is in though. Its a nice releif to not have to worry about place branding, residents views and Visit Cambridge!!
As for the exec elections, I spent a week asking people to second my nomination, which wasn't too difficult, I mean i have enough friends and flatmates who were willing to do that. Alun convinced Becki Student Union president to second me which is great cause it looks good having top level support. From the 10th onwards I spent every spare mintue making T shirts and posters for a full on campaign team. My flatmates had volunteered. When it got closer to the day of voting I was getting more and more disappointed by the process. Nobody else had posters, nobody else walked around in T shirts like I did. I wanted people to know about the elections, to vote but nobody else seemed to be interested. Even on voting day the candiates didn't have T shirts, posters appeared on faraday as they always do but there was very little interest in voting. About 200 people voted. 200!! Let me put that into context for you there are 10,000+ undergraduates in this university 800+ students living on campus. So less than one quarter of the number of people living on campus bothered to vote and im guessing the figure is even less then that because it wasn't all campus dwellers that voted. How can the university student body be so apethetic about their union, about their university?? The Student Union has a job vacancy in their promotions team, to promote thier non commercial activities. Im putting in an application, students will listen to me whether they like it or not. It drives me nuts this system. Im not saying that Elle did a bad job im not, although she spent the entire year rewriting the constitution and her motion to change it didn't even mention SWDs. Ironic really when she is SWD officer. She won the election too, 76 / 95 30 spoils 9 RONs. Not a bad result, she didn't have a landslide vicotry but a loss is a loss. I heard through the grapevine that she was debating whether to even stand again half an hour before the close of nominations. That doesn't show commitment to me and she has run for so many posts and positions does she even care who she is representing or only that she is on Exec. Im making any judgements. I didn't see Elle Hicks out on poling day, she was doing all of her campaigning behind closed doors. They say its not what you know but who you know don't they. I campaigned in and around halls for the whole week. I had posters up in every building, Terry put them up for me. The one in our building got taken down by Jon when he got back. I was so annoyed at him, I had Terry's permission to put it up and its not as though they didn't have our names on so he could have returned them to us or checked that we were OKed to put them there. On poling day I saw that the posters I had put up by the Arts Centre had also been taken down. I was annoyed by that too as I had permission for those as well.
I went and watched the count at the close of poles. I felt really annoyed at myself. I'd left Fulton house at about 2pm (four hours before poles closed) and slept for two hours. I should have been out campaigning. Im not sure it would have made any difference, thats what Alun keeps telling me but it doesn't make any difference I should have been out there and then I would know for sure. I was disappointed I was, but more about the effort I put in compared to the apparant lack of effort on Elle's part. She had no posters she had no T shirts she just stood there for an hour before the close of poles. I wish Alun had told me when he found out because I would have gone out there and campaigned again. Never mind its not important now and its not Alun's fault. Im just annoyed and disappointed. I can still do all the things I want to do, I mean I can campaign the local councils to get bleepers put onto the crossings and to erect one on Brynmill lane. It just would have more backing coming through the Union. I also won't have the politics to deal with or two minute speeches. So it'll probably be a good thing....
The exams have started. I have sat four out of my five exams already and my next one is on saturday afternoon. I have a lot of work to do for this one as I have not attended lectures as regularly as I should have done. I have a lot of catch up on in two days. Its marketing which helps, I mean its not a guarantee of a good mark but with all the prior knowledge I have from other modules and my ability to waffle I should be OK. The main concern that I have is his grading is really harsh. Rainbow and I got 46% on our coursework which was worth 50%. He gave us some feedback which seemed fair but not appropriate to a grade that low. Vicky only got 57% and she is always 65%+ so that makes me feel better that my work probably wasn't bad just normal in the bigger scheme of things and his marks are just harsh. It does mean however that I have a lot of work to do to make sure I can at least repeat that mark in the exam if not exceed it. Wish me luck. Oh and because of an exam clash two exams in one day with extra time one of my exams was moved. I had been under the impression that it was consumer behaviour so when I got to the exam and was told it was Organisational Behaviour and I hadn't revised for it you can imagine my horror. Alun just laughed, he said that he though he was dopey but he's never done that! Yeah well laughing didn't help me did it. I was able to remember enough I think to pass which is all I need from that module. I remember a time when I would have cried to get marks this low but now im be glad if i achieve a 2:2 how wrong is that. I just haven't put in the work that was needed. Especially this year, this term has been a nightmare its been a challenge and I backed away from it, preferring to play sims and do other things besides work. I got all my coursework in and graded and the marks were good but I just haven't been gling to many lectures and Im not really sure why. Next year I'll have to go, the class will be tiny in comparision and if im not there people will actually notice. Vicky is going to be my notetaker again. Not sure how that works I mean she won't be a student anymore but as long as I get notes im not really fussed who they come from.
I am getting so very pissed off with Alun's flatmates. They seem to be under the impression that I need their approval to be there, I don't! I put a note on the fridge yesterday reminding people that there are eight fridge shelves and 8 people in the flat so why is it that Alun and I don't have a shelf. I asked them to rearrange their food so that it was only on one shelf and to my amazement and Alun's somebody actually listened and we now have a shelf! The smallest of them but a shelf none the less!! I wrote a not on the fridge, just one word thank-you. It was genuine and Sarah wrote on the fridge, where did you note go, do you have a problem? Alun took it down. I have no time for people like Sarah. I have done nothing wrong to her and yet I am being laughed at. I don't need to be liked, I don't need her approval and I certainly don't need to like her. She laughed at me again this morning after I left the kitchen because I didn't speak to her. Why should I. I am not the one who has the maturity of a baby moose. I have asked for and stuck up for the things I am entitled to so why is that so wrong. Alun's not going to do it, he just says, oh its not worth it love, don't react to it, don't go down to their level. But he's not here, he doesn't have to deal with the tension on a regurlar basis. He says it'll all come back on him and admittedly he may get caught in the cross fire but his is a dispute between me and Sarah which he has made quite clear he's not getting involved with.
If you remember some bitch put my George in the bin a few months ago, well since then everytime I leave the room some idiot is putting it back in my cupboard. Oh thats nice isn't it, well no not really, not when its dirty and covered in fat. Today the stupid bitch put it back in my cupboard while it was still HOT, not warm but HOT. I'd finished cooking less than ten minutes before so the fat dripped over my hand as I took it back out. If they want to cause a fire then they're going the right way about it. I would have refused to pay the fine. I am aware the George is mine and my responsibility but I WOULDN'T have been the one to cause the fire it would have been whichever stupid cow put a HOT george in the cupbard with HOT fat! Idiots!. Oh and Raschel keeps using Alun's saucepan and leaving it out on the draining board. I can't complain becasue its Alun's saucepan and he doesn't care but its just rude, going into other people's cupboards for things that don't belong to them. Its even ruder not to put them back or to put them into the lost and found cupboard! It drives me nuts finding my stuff in there!
OK thats it, Im done, I have to go upstairs and clean the George now and hope that it hasn't been put back in the cupboard again, ive only been down here half an hour so hopefully it'll be cool enough to wash and would have been left alone. 31 mars A middle of the day dream, and I ended up at school!Theresa has now been down in Swansea for five days, today we went shopping and we both bought a pair of boots. We went searching for her as she has no suitable shoes to wear out on saturday night. It was a rushed trip down here and I had forgotten to mention the plans to her! We bought welsh cakes too I'd just like to point that out.
Anyway when we got back from town, my arm was dead again and I was really tired, we both were so we crawled top and tail into my bed and fell asleep. Theresa of course had the top but that was purely because I was already passed out laying the other way. Anyway my dream....
Mum drove me to this school, Im guessing it must have been third year of university but I'll tell you why I know that as it features as part of my dream later. Anway we got there and I went up to reception on my own to grab my key. They gave me a slip of paper with a room number and my name on it.
I walked around in circles for what seemed like ages, through doors and passages until I came through one into a corridor full of students in wheelchairs and carers. The walls were covered in typed signs that I couldn't read and christmas wrapping paper. I found my door that had a larger piece of paper on it with my name and room number. There was a piece of paper on the door but in really faint scrawled handwriting that I attempted to read prior to going in. It began to say "fill this room with your life" or words to that effect, which is why then I twigged I must be in the third year. It was then i realised I only had the slip of paper (which i tried to put into the key hole?). I scanned the door and found an envelope with the key inside it.
I let myself into the room, I clocked the bed first, green dovet, fine, then the sofa which was behind the door in a rather fetching mustard colour. There was no desk funnily enough but a low crete type surface running along the wall with my bed. I figured I'd put my TV on that!! I also noticed a large expanse of grass outside my window and wanted to go look. I found that I had patio doors similar to the style of those in Milan. I stepped outside, and it was dark, the whole room was dark but the only light outside came from the room windows. I hard Theresa's voice from one of the other doorways/windows and she stepped out onto the grass. She and I ran and hugged eachother and she asked where mum was. I had forgotten she was in the car, I had gone to find out which building my room was in so she didn't have to carry tonnes of stuff in with her while we looked.
I woke up then and realised how much work I still have to get done on my dissertation and other assignment!! Im going to talk to tutor on monday.
26 mars I had another dream, and this time it was scaryIts been twice now that I have remembered my dreams, if I had nice dreams, or dreams I could understand then maybe that would be a good thing. Do you want to hear it, well much like the last I want to tell you.
I don't remember it as well as the last one but I do remember that I was part of a police team, we were approaching a house in a typically council type estate, all single story houses a little run down. the houses all had wire fences, like the one that used to be outside my house coincidentally, or mabye not who knows.
Anway we barged through the door of the house in corner and inside was Hell boy! I've never seen that movie and it doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. We were obviously looking for this red skinned man, maybe it wasn't hell boy it looked more like baltazar from charmed (see first picture). He was standing laughing as we entered and the house looked so normal. I remember seeing a six year old boy, he as really quiet, he had the look of david from AI, see picture two. We whisked the boy away and he was exactly as he was in the movie, innocent silent until he started talking about something that he had been been pre programmed to respond to. When he started talking about that he was super intelligent but then silent again when he was done. It was really creepy.
A mother came in with a baby, apparantly hell boy was the local baby sitter which is how he got access to brainwash all these children. I ran out of the house and down the street. I was searching for a computer of all things, i have no idea why. I ran into one house, a black family lived there, lots of teenage girls. The one who answered the door had pale blue denim shorts on and a pink top that showed her stomach. She had two pig tails too. I can describe the house but will probably recreate it in sims, just so i have a record of it. Anway I found the computer and was about to do whatever it was I came to do when i realised the baby was singing!! she was no more than 2 or 3 months old and she was singing proper english words to the song that the girls were playing in the house. I told them to turn it down and i heard the baby singing even louder. The girls screamed "freak baby" and then Alun rolled over and I woke up!
I really dislike freaky dreams! 23 mars I have a dream... or at least i did have oneI Wonder what the world would be like if we all remembered and acted upon our dreasm. That does of course present the world with a few problesm., firstly some of the unlucky people in the world do not remember their dreams, Donna being one of them and then others like myself have a time finding the meaning behind our dreams. Hannah has had a dream about mutilating her female organs but clearly to act this out literally is not an option. So for those of you who are competent at interpreting dreams heres mine....are you sitting comfortably, then I'll begin.
It began, or at least my memory of it began, with me on a mostly white space ship. It was a small space craft, possibly designed for just two people, or at a squeeze three - there may have been a back compartment I can't quite remember. It resembled the space pod from Apolo 13 but a lot whiter. Anyway I wasn't alone... there was the captain of the ship. His name began with a G but upon waking up his name was one of the first bits of information i lost. I do remember that he knew what he was doing and I clearly did not.
He said we had a problem and needed to go take a look, so he unbuckled his seat belt and floated up (yeah floated yay cool) to the hatch type area, there must have been an upstairs compartment because I couldn't see him when he reached the top. He complained that there was oil everywhere. The Oil began with C but again i can't remember. He disappeared for ages and then i heard him opening the space hatch without any warning. Everything seemed to go into slow motion as i felt the air in my lungs being sucked away, it went extremely slowly considering that in real life it would have taken less then a few seconds.
Just as I thought it was too late and I was going to die, the hatch closed and instantly my breath returned. I waited and waited for Captain G to come back but he didn't. Then the radio sprang to life and said "this is controller 278, there is a problem with your left wing!" I looked out of the window and saw Captain G floating above the wing in Alun's jeans and shirt. It took me a couple of looks to determine what he was wearing and just to confirm the fact he was still alive and withou a space suit. I grabbed the radio and tried to talk and all i came out with was "controller 27... I don't remember the number " (I kept thinking 258, 278, 258) "He's, he's fixing it!" She responded by sayin oh if G.... is on it then you're safe. Its being caused by a weak signal coming from the lower left hand corner of the ship" It instantly twigged in my mind that that is where I was sitting!! I frantically looked around for something that could be causing a signal. To my horror I realised my phone was in my pocket. It wasn't a flashy phone, something you'd expect to find on a flashy space ship but my Nokia 3510i!! I tried desperately to turn it off only to realise it was already off. "its me its my mobile i didn't know, im sorry im sorry!"
Captain G appeared and transported it off the ship by pointing at it. As i watched my phone floating in space you'd have expected me to be relieved that I wasn't causing us to die anymore but no, me in my selfish thoughts just kept thinking, thats my phone......!! I was worried I'd lose all the numbers and i'd lose all my friends (wow if thats not a message to me I don't know what is!!)
Next, oh no this dream lasted hours and im not done yet, controller 278 came on the radio again and without congratulating G for rescueing us both she said, i've got something for you. As if by magic, dream magic anyway, a strip appeared accross the windscreen (do you have wind in space) with the ships ID on it. G responded with, but we'd only need that if.... and then behind him a whole stack of them appeared stood up against the wall like skies. We then realised our ship was not alone in space anymore and there were hundreds of others flying around us.
The weird thing is, we weren't alone on the ship anymore either, Miss Louisa Williams decided to just drop in - uninvited i might add, Captain G may have been cute!. She said oh i hope we go somewhere good. The next thing i know circles appeared outside of the ship, like the ones that you see in Stargate SG1 as the team shoot through the worm hole, but in my dream unlike the programme you can see the world behind it. Louisa declared "oooh I've seen this one" as we shot through one of the circles lost in space hyperdrive kind of whoooshy way.
And then thats it, like the credits rolled at the end of an episode or something I woke up.
I had some other observations to share with the world but since I am off to a chocolate and wine party tonight I'll guess they'll have to wait until tomorrow. I had no internet on last night I downloaded a virus that temporarily knocked it off so i wrote a blog entry by hand (yes with paper!!) because I didn't want to lose any of the umph and wit I had mustered for the entry!! I guess you'll just have to look forward to it for a while, won't you.
Edit: Error 678 blog entry - Oh my god I just realised thats the number in my dream or close to it!! hmmm maybe i'll look up those numbers, 2 is obviously significant to me!
I looked up 2: two alternatives open or a sense of balance - my life balanced I don't think so!
I looked up 7: something sacred to me
I looked up 8: death or reincarnation - so something may or may not die that is sacred to me, oh dear Im glad I don't own fish.
I also looked up six because it was missing from the number just as a thought and it said a sense of balacne also, so does that mean that number two is more two options open to me, and that with the six missing that there is no balance?? Wow insightful dreams.
I also tried to look up stars but only found planets, I tried to look up friends but they didn't exist. I did look up journey. It said that in dreams journeys most regularly represent the journey of life. The closest journey type in the book is aeroplane, this symbolised a sudden transition from one life phase to another. I don't like dreams!
9 mars I give up,thats it, its over!I lost another key yesterday.
Less then a week ago Terry gave me one of the master key trouser clip to put my key in so that I wouldn't lock my self out. I lost it. Yep the whole lot. I am as annoyed in myself as Terry is unsuprised, he said it was a good idea and I agree. He told me that it was easily done ad the clips can come off by rubbing against something (or someone).
Alun and I finally made it to tesco last night. We left at just after 10.15! Yeah i know i know i didn't want to go that late either! Alun went to put his glasses on but noticed that the screw was loose. He tried to fix it and ultimately lost the screw. His dad had to walk down from Sketty (having had a couple to drink) to bring him his spare pair! I spent the whole day yesterday being bored so I was looking forward to being off of campus, even if it was just tesco!
I managed to buy alcohol without question for the first time in weeks. The girls are having another party tonight and I can't wait!! I haven't seen much of the girls in a while and it will be nice to catch up with them again. They'll laugh at me when i tell them that my key has been washed out to sea! Only me and only at this uni is that even an option. At least it will have some company, there is already a flushed key making its sqy down to the ocean. I wonder if its there yet?
I have decided that moving into this silly self locking hall was probably not the smartest move I ever made. Don't get me wrong I love living in the building with Alun upsatirs but as I don't actually cook in my kitchen was it really worth all the hassle? I had to call the porters out again last night because my flat mates decided to socialise at 4.15 this morning. Its a great thing I told Amy I was up in Alun's room last night because Kate asked if it was me who was calling the Porters all the time. Shhhhh don't tell hem! I maybe should have asked them to keep it down first before I called them out but it was gone four in the morning and I shouldn't have had to ask them to be quiet. I have just realised that this pic of the side of Oxwhich and the front of Langland! They make them look so close together, which we all know they are but seriously that close??
I tried to find a photo of Alun on google but there is nothing. OK side tracking.
I found out the other day who it was that put my George in the bin! Ruth!! I wouldn't have thought of her, she is usually such a quiet person and usually quite friendly. I am sure she must have seen my George before the other week and so why is she now beginning to react to it. I told her and the rest of the flat that the cleaner knows its there and doesn't care. Ruth insists that the whole flat will get fined if its found but I keep telling her that if the George is found and fines are issued it will only be to the owner of the George, i.e me and Alun!! She doesn't seem convinced but to be quite frank Ruth I don't really care.
27 février before i was just drifting, the panic has now set in!I had an offer from Swansea Uni to the other day. I am officially allowed to take the Postgraduate MSc in Marketing Management starting September 2006! All i have to do is achieve a 2:2 in my BSc Business Studies course. If i don't achieve this I'd cry anyway!
Oh yeah and find £3,085 by september, so nothing major then, i have that laying under my matrass at my beach house in Florida.
I had no desire to graduate, no desire in fact to be in the 3rd year at all. I tried to resit my second year but was told categorically that it wasn't possible due to rule G13 of the University's constitution. I found out a few weeks ago that there are loop holes that could have given me the opportunity to re do it. I am annoyed about that because my brain just wasn't in gear to be a 3rd year. I had been in the mind frame of a second year all summer long. I hadn't resat any modules because well i was retaking them so what was the point.
The first simester came and went, the exams came and went and now its week 5 of the second simester and unfortunately its coming and going faster then i would like. It seems only yesterday (I can't believe i just used that phrase) that I was thinking about the new modules, turning up to more lectures then last simester in the first week. Now im panicing.
I have a group assignment which is due Friday, which at present consits of a questionnaire, with no results analysed and nothing that can be handed in and no decisons made. Thats really stressing me out because I can't do my section until decisons have been made as they fundimentally affect what i wriet about so i can't even start mine yet! Oh yeah and once the first stage is done we have to write an executive summary, recomendations and conclusions. All by friday. Somebody ahve large quanities of chocolate and ribena on hand thanks.
My dissertation is four weeks behind schedule. I need to be in a position to do major Cambridge based research when i get home in four weeks. Im not sure that ils possible but i guess its going to have to be. I need to talk to several people, and not just random people but important people who know what they are talking about. I don't know who they are yet.
All in all you could say my life is a big mess, at least he accademic side of it. Oh actually no, my social side kinda sucks too, one of my friends isn't talking to me because we had to ask her and another guy if they would find somewhere else to live next year. We still want to be their friends. We still want to see them and do things with them and I even want them to come and visit the house as often as they like. What we don't want are conflicts within the house due to illegal activities and personality clashes between certain housemates.
12 février Go Wales Go!Well as most of us know it is currently Sunday 13th February at aproximately 15.39. Some of us may not know what significance this has. It means ladies, gentlemen and aliens alike that are around half time in the second of their six nations matches against none other then Scotland. This may or may not be a good thing for Welsh rugby fans today as they might be losing. I say might be losing because I have no idea what the score is!
When we last saw the Welsh team play they lost. No in truth they may as well have sat in the middle of the pitch singing kumbyah for all the good they did last saturday. I believe the final score was 47:13 to ENGLAND!!! Yay, i mean booo. Alun and a couple of the welsh society people watched the game in JCs. I prayed for a good result, not for the sake of the rugby team, for the fans or for welsh national pride but for my sake. As they lost Alun was in a bad which ultimately means i get no peace and quiet until he is in a better mood.
I am praying today they win. Alun and Gareth have gone down to the Millennium Stadium to watch the match. Alun's dad won tickets through the ospreys and so with welsh pride and flag in hand they've marched up to Cardiff to support their team. I hope they win otherwise its going to be a long long drive home.
You may ask why, if the result is so important to me, for what ever reasons i have, i am not glued to the TV screen or cheering my head off in JCs, well L, G and A alike I am in the library. I am aware of what day it is thankyou. Im printing off 50+ (I believe the final count is 97) copies of a questionnaire that I need to along with five other members of my study group to get filled in by unsuspecting freshmen. second years and fellow final yearers about their diet and health. Joy. Its not the most thrilling of topics, it doesn't really interest me to the point where I'd fill it in myself. Im going to because thats one less to get filled in my a complete stranger but my point is; if i don't care why should any body else.
I'll update this blog when i know the score. Pray for me! 30 janvier wow, look thats me! I did that!28 janvier Achos bo fe'n dweud! (because I said so)I love that phrase so much! Alun asks me, why? well achos bo fe'n dweud! Like i need any other reason to do anything i do, I flushed a key for crying out loud.
Ok well this entry is as you can probably guess, because i have nothing better to do with my time then write useless welsh phrases and even more useless blog entries. Its a good thing that there are only a hand full of people who actually read this. Im serious i could probably name you all and count you all on one hand.
The exams are over! Hurrah! Thank you lord! I hate exams. Ok thats not true the exams themselves are just dull, I hate the revision you're required (supposed) to do before the two hours of mind numbing boredom that will determine the fate of life the universe and everything. We all know its not that serious but they make you believe your whole life depends on these two hours, which clearly it doesn't.
Alun took me to see the Storys play tonight at the Grand Theatre. I wasn't sure I wanted to go. I had mentioned them once, listened to them only a hand ful of times (less times then the number of people who read this blog) and the next thing i know I have tickets to see them perform. In all fairness he meant well and it was a really good gig. I enjoyed it a lot. Carl Morris was good too, he was the support act and i want this albulm. It was a really good evening.
You may be wondering why there is a picture of a bum on my blog. Its not a bum for starters I am pretty convinced its two of my fingers over the lens when i accidentilly took a photo, honest!! I had to share it though as its just funny. There are also a few photos of Alun and his flag. Honestly, no connection there either but its just I have no other reason to put them on the blog so here they are. Sorry Alun. I like the photo of him unknowing sitting in front of my "boys are stupid... throw rocks at them" poster. I didn't tell him it was there until i took the photo, whoops.
I would love to actually have something useful/interesting/relevant to write in the blog but I don't. Ooooh SAS meeting: I made Ty Tawe in my game!
Im done now.
Update on the bum: Theresa says its not a bum at all cause she can see a mouth, her opinion is that its my face against a pillow or my hand. Im not entirely sure what it was so thats as good a guess as any. There are no prizes for guessing the correct answer though!
23 janvier I flushed my key card down the toilet!I am very serious when i tell you that i did indeed flush my key card down the toilet. I am aware of how utterly stupid that is and I am also aware of how stupid that makes me. People keep telling me that it could have happened to anybody, the thing is, it didn't happen to anybody it happened to me. I also know that if I were anybody else I would be as embarrassed about it as I am right now!
Imagine the scene, im merrily minding my own business, went to the bathroom, heard something drop. I didn't think to look down the toilet so i flushed and went aloong with my evening. When i went to find my key a couple of hours later of course there is no sign of it. I hunted and hunted, i had Ryan and Alun hunting with me. Ryan I am sorry I snapped at you last night. I never lose my keys! Alun said it would turn up somewhere bizzare and well it did din't it. I asked him to go check in the bathroom for about the 50th time as i knew that is where i saw it last and he took one look at the toilet and fell on the floor laughing. He was in stiches, he just about managed to tell me my key was down the toilet but too much to help me retrieve it. My key is safe, his however is now somewhere floating around the river tawe.
Everybody has been laughing at me today, I had to tell the porters as i needed a new key, they laughed at me, the halls manager, she laughed at me, and of course my friends are laughing at me hardest of all. Only two people in the world could have pulled off a stunt like this and of course it had to be me (and Alun) who did it.
For my next trick..... 10 janvier "The only disability is a bad attitude!"To set the tone of the following blog entry is it vital that you know that I want to run for Student Union Students With Disabilities officer (SWD). Currently the position is held by a woman called Elle Hicks. She is useless and i feel i could do a far better job. For one she switches between the roles of LGBT officer and SWD depending on whihc one is easier to be elected to. I don't want to be on the union for being on the unions sake, i want to be SWD officer.
The only reason i know who the SWD officer this year is, is because Alun told me. She doesn't make any difference to anybody who she is supposedly representing. SWD is a liberation campaign, only those who are affected are able to vote for the position, but exactly who counts as a SWD is something I need to figure out as does the University. One of the things I will be fighting for is to get rid of categorisation of students, blind students / wheelchair bound students, mental health students. Students are individuals, my needs are different from Ryan's, Janice's, Lee's and Jayne's and yet we are all labelled and the VI students.
I want students to be kept informed and have the opportunity to discuss upcoming plans and developments with the university. I understand that the University can't open campus wide discussions everytime they want to change a lightbulb but when they "upgraded" the access technology offered by LIS did they bother to ask us if it is what we wanted? Do we even get a say in the matter? There are issues that the majority of students wouldn't have to consider, wouldn't even know were issues and yet these are the ones that are causing the most trouble for students with disabilities.
I want to make a difference to students on campus. the problem i am going to hve is whether I can work inside the red tape and the protocols and policies set forth by the student union. 2 minute speeches, forums, meetings? I have to prepare a manifesto, get seconded by 11 people, Alun, Ryan, Donna, Hannah, Lisa, Louisa, Amren, Laura? thats only eight. Do i know 11 people who could help my nomination?
I have a big mouth I'll convince the student body that i should be elected. Once I get there however, will I just turn out to be all mouth? I really hope not. I want to use the quote in the title as my campaign slogan. It fits exactly what im trying to do, what im all about. The question is, am i allowed to quote other people in my campaign? I want to rename SWD it sounds like a name for a drug, "Oi mate, come on have a SWD" see? Something that actually represents who i'd be representing. SWD? SWAN students with additional needs? catchy but do i want to be a bird officer, no don't like that either, TOL that other lot? ok well i know it needs work.
Wish me luck!
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